User blog:Ferblover/The Story of Phineas's Life
Note: This page contains the words: liquor, cigarettes, wine, and other stuff that (hopefully) won't get me banned! Please!! This is a drama!!! NOTE: This is what Phin's life is like offscreen and NO the people that adopt Phin are not real. The Story Of Phineas's Life Chapter 1: The Birth of Phineas December 19th, 1997. Danville Hospital. Room 115. Amanda Flynn sat up in the white blanketed hospital bed. She was sweating enough to make another Atlantic ocean and she let out a moan of pain while she was going into labor. She reached for her purse and took out a pack of cigarretes. She lit one with a dented, old, yellow, beat-up lighter and started to gnaw at it like it was a painkiller. "Ohhh...." she moaned followed by a scream of pain. After three more hours and 24 more cigarettes, she had given birth. Amanda collapsed and fell asleep while her crying baby was examined. "Ms. Flynn?" the nurse asked. "Whaddya want, toots?" she snapped and continued to light her 25th cigarette that day. "You have just given birth to a healthy boy." Amanda glanced at the bawling baby in the blanket and looked down at the clipboard that was handed to her. She tapped the pen on the bed causing her cancerstick to shed some coal-black ashes. She looked at her son's pointy head and then remembered that right before she went into labor a waiter named Phineas served her a plate of cheese nachos. She scribbled down "Phineas Timothy Flynn" on the clipboard which she thrust forcefully at the nurse. After signing a lot of paperwork, Phin and his mom went home to her old run-down appartment. "Dis is it, Phineas. Our ho-" she cut off because she omitted a hacking cough caused by her 2 packs a day. Phin looked around with watery eyes at the broken wall, beer bottles, and cigarette packs on the ground. She took him out of the blanket and laid him on the torn bed. Amanda left the room and opened to mini fridge (one of the more decent looking things in the appartment) and got a tall bottle of wine out. She popped the cork off with her bare yellow teeth and guzzled the bottle down in 2 minutes flat. She shook her head and made a "blblblblb" sound. She went into the bathroom and got sick. Phineas watched her from the bed. He was on the verge of tears. He heard the toilet flush along with Amanda saying some pretty nasty words as she walked out of the bathroom. Phineas started to cry softly so she walked back into the bedroom. She took a look at him and slurred, "Whaddya want?" Phineas whimpered; fearing she might hurt him because she was drunk. Amanda went into the bathroom and got out a diaper, a bottle of powder, and a tube of diaper rash cream. She changed him and continued to smoke while she did it. The ashes from her cigarette mixed in with the white, fluffy baby powder that she just put on him. Phin whimpered and she glared at him while she taped up his diaper. "Dat's all you're gonna get tonight, bub." With that being said she slammed the door to the bedroom. The plastered ceiling crumbled a little bit falling on the scared infant. Chapter 2: Put Up For Adoption Three weeks went by and Phineas wasn't in a good healthy condition. His once rosy skin was pale; due to his mom not having time to bathe him. He smelled horrible and had a nasty diaper rash because Amanda hadn't changed him in 5 days. He had been laying on the retro bed for three weeks now. Amanda had gone out to the local casino every night coming home a little bit more broke then rich. Winning $20 in a slot machine wasn't enough to help take care of both Amanda and Phineas. When she went out with all her money she had to decide between liquor or diapers. She chose liquor over Phin's needs. One day when Amanda came home, she brought a handsome man with her. "Some party, eh John?" "Yeh." John said as he started to make-out with Amanda. Phineas, knowing that his mama was now home, started to cry. Hopefully, she would change him or feed him today. John bugged his eyes and looked at the source of the noise. "Is that a baby?" "No!! It's my flying monkey, OF COURSE IT'S A FREAKIN BABY!!!!" Phineas ceased his noise. He turned his attention away from his hungry stomach and wet, dirty diaper to what his mom had to say to this guy named John. "He won't be my baby for long." "Whaddya mean, sweetums?" "I mean that I'm putting the lil brat up for adoption so that I can accept your marriage proposal!" Phineas, not knowing what any of this meant, tried to get his mom's attention again. He was a lil bit louder this time. "I can go check in on him." "Thanks, squeezies!" John walked in and plugged his nose. "Woah!!! How long has it been since my fiancé has changed you or bathed you?!?" Phineas whimpered. "Dont worry lil guy. I'll change ya." John went into the bathroom and returned with a clean diaper and the rest of the diaper products. He carefully picked the baby up and got to work. He gently un-taped the diaper and dropped it in the trashcan next to the bed which Amanda used just in case she was still drunk and had to throw-up. John worked gently and carefully as if he was changing the Hope Diamond. As soon as he was finished, John picked up Phineas and started to cradle him. "Aw. You know you're kinda cute. Too bad you're mom's putting you up for adoption." Phineas grabbed John's cross necklace and playfully batted it. He could've sworn he'd seen tears in the grown man's eyes. John tickled Phin's stomach, set him down on the bed, then went back out to his fiancé. The next day, Amanda was acting real nice to Phineas. She had washed him and fed him until he was healthy again. At 12:00, Amanda called a taxi and asked the driver to drive to ACME Acres, Indiana. After 7 long hours of driving, Amanda owed a total of $400 dollars to the cab driver. Amanda placed Phineas in a blanket, wrapped him up, and tied a lil note his blankie. She ran up the stairs to the ACME Acres Orphanage. She laid him on the top porch and yelled, "So long suckah!!! I'm gettin married to the guy of my dreams!!! Wa-hoo!!" Phineas sighed and turned over in his blankets. He then noticed that he wasn't alone. Another baby that looked like it was a couple of weeks older than him was on the porch in a basket. Phineas cocked a little eyebrow and looked at the other baby. It had green hair and was wearing yellow feety pajamas. He was sleeping and he had a note tied to him. Just as Phineas was about to get a lil bit closer, the door opened and the lady in charge looked down at the two. She picked up the baby in the basket first. She read his note. It read: "Dear who it may concern, Plase take care of my 6 week old son. His name is Ferb and I can't take care of him anymore because his mother died. Sincerely, A Sad, Broke Father" "Awwww... Poor lil guy..." the lady said picking Ferb out of the basket, blankets and all. She started to rock him when she notced Phineas. The note attached to Phin blew away. "Awwww.. I bet you two are brothers! Come on in fellas! We'll take good care of you here." Chapter 3: The Adoption As Phineas and Ferb were carried inside, curious toon orphans (human and animal) watched as they were taken into the nursery. Ferb smiled at Phineas as if to say "hi". Phin winked (he was a toon prodigy) back at him. The nurse picked them both up and set them in cribs that were exactly right next to eachother. "Now you two can just sleep, ok?" Phineas didn't feel tired. Earlier on he had gotten into his mom's drug stash and ate a little bit of something white (oh no!!!!). The cocaine started working immediatly. Amanda had watched the whole thing without even thinking to stop him. Phin's eyes were bugged, his body shook slightly, and he was slightly drooling. Ferb worriedly looked at Phineas and stood up in the crib by holding onto the bars. Phineas then felt really tired for a few seconds then he was hyper then tired some more. Ferb was now really worried about the pointy kid next to him. He started to cry; trying to get the nurse's attention. She walked over to him and picked him up. Ferb, having the IQ of a 5th grader at the time, pointed at Phineas who didn't look so well. The nurse set Ferb down again and went over to Phineas. She took out her cell phone and called 911. An ambulence came and two peramedics came in looking for the baby that got slipped a mickey. After getting Phineas to cough up the crack the doctor explained that he had an overdose of the illegal drug. The nurse payed them then placed Phineas back in his crib. In a small neighboorhood, Ryan and Clarice Smith were sitting around their house. They just got married and had come home from their honeymoon. They wanted to have children but Clarice couldn't because she was barren. Ryan was devistated. After a lot of planning, the two toon humans decided that they should adopt two boys. They drove over to the local orphanage and asked to see the babies. "Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Smith." The nurse said as she led them into the nursery. "Feel free to pick them up and interact." "Okay!" Mr. Smith played with a couple of bunny toons but Mrs. Smith reminded him that they were looking for humans. "Right. Sorry." Ryan corrected himself. The two walked around until they saw Ferb standing up in his crib. "Aw! Look, Ry!" They walked over to Ferb and started to play with him. Mrs. Smith picked him up and started to cradle him. "Oh, Ryan. We should adopt this baby." Ryan wasn't listening. He was looking at Phineas who was sleeping in his crib. Ryan walked over and picked up the sleeping baby. Phineas opened his eyes and looked at Ryan. He carried Phineas over to Clarice who was letting Ferb bat at her earings. "Look at this lil guy hon!" "Aw! He's so cute!" "He's got a funny lil head." "That doesn't matter! All we care about is if he loves us or not!" Ryan handed Phineas to Clarice who started to hug her. "I think we have two keepers!" So the Smiths signed the adoption papers and brought home their new sons. The Smiths had a dog. His name was Buck. Buck was a Collie who was very protective. When the Smiths got him from a breeder, Buck was said to be the pup of Buttons; the protective dog from Animaniacs. "Hey, Bucky boy," Ryan called as he and Clarice walked inside with the two baby carriers. Buck barked and wagged his orange tail to a blur. He stopped and made a confused grunt as he looked at the two babies. He looked at his owners and put his tongue back inside his mouth. "Buck, these are our two new sons!" Buck cocked an eyebrow. "That's Phineas," Ryan said pointing at Phin, "And that's Ferb." Clarice said pointing at Ferb. Buck's smile reapeared as he went by the newest additions to the family. He licked Phineas's nose but then he winced because he poked himself! (As Mindy from Animaniacs would say, "Silly puppy!"). Buck whimpered like his dad then walked off. Phineas laughed and snuggled into the baby carrier's padded seat. He fell asleep in a flash. Ferb did the same. Ryan and Clarice awwed then they each picked up one of the babies and walked up to their new nursery. They set them down in their cribs, said goodnight, then went downstairs. Chapter 4: The First Day The next day, Clarice and Ryan awoke to the soft cries of a baby. "I'll get it." Clarice said as she put on her fuzzy pink slippers and bathrobe. She walked into the nursery to find Phineas sitting up in his crib crying. "Aw. What's the matter Phin? Are you hungry?" Phineas ceased his crying and he licked his lips happily. Clarice was amazed. Most toons didn't learn the art of sloppy lip-licking untill they were at least 5 years old. She picked Phineas up and got out a bottle of formula. She sat down in a rocking chair in the corner and started to feed the bottle to Phineas who drank it up quickly. He burped like Wakko then hiccuped softly. He lazed his eyelids then went back to sleep satisfied. Clarice placed Phineas back in his crib careful not to wake up Ferb who was sleeping and sucking his thumb. Ferb woke up and coughed to get his mom's attention. Clarice turned and picked Ferb up. Noticing that he was wet, she changed him them put him back in his crib. Category:Blog posts